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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23115427">Last Call</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Backwoulds/pseuds/Backwoulds'>Backwoulds</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Barely Legal, Canon-Typical Violence, Episode Related, F/M, First Love, First Time, Hunters &amp; Hunting, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Lee is an asshole, POV Second Person, Past Relationship(s), Pre-Canon, Protective Dean Winchester, Reader-Insert, Season/Series 15, Season/Series 15 Spoilers, Second Chances, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, can't catch a break, hurt reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 01:00:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>15,031</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23115427</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Backwoulds/pseuds/Backwoulds</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A reader-insert  of season 15, episode 7.</p><p>You and Dean make your way to Swayze's bar in Texahoma for a case where you run into Lee Webb, who just happens to be the first man you ever slept with... and your first real heartbreak.</p><p>It all comes back to you when Lee suggests that you can leave the life behind and start over with him--no more hunting, no more monsters, no more death. It's the Apple Pie Life tied up in a bow, just waiting for you to come and take it. But things aren't always what they seem, and the choices you have to make are rarely easy.</p><p>Don't you deserve the break, kid? Haven't you earned something good in your life?</p><p>(Spoilers for the episode "Last Call")</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dean Winchester &amp; Reader, Dean Winchester &amp; You, Lee Webb/Reader, Lee Webb/You</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Swayze's</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I loved this episode so much and just had this lovely head cannon that Lee was the reader's first everything, as well as the one thing that could potentially lead her to question her dedication to the life. I don't normally do episode-inserts, but this one just made me want to INSERT ALL THE THINGS (not in a sex way. Never in a sex way.)!</p><p>It's finished in my head, and it's not a happy ending... but then, when is it ever for our darling kids in plaid?</p><p>Please leave comments and kudos if you like where we're heading!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It should be an open and shut case. Girl disappears, drunk friend claims it’s the rapture, you and Dean swing in and shut it down, whatever “IT” happens to be. The trouble starts the second the sheriff mentions Swayze’s. Something about it strikes you as too coincidental to be a coincidence. “Accidents don’t just happen accidentally,” right?</p><p>You’d been sitting in the bunker’s kitchen enjoying your coffee the morning Sam and Eileen had stumbled in after their night of margaritas and started cooking breakfast. It’s not your thing these days (eating before 11 am tends to give you heartburn at this point), but seeing the two of them looking  so comfortable and happy together had actually managed to lift your spirits that day. You like Eileen. You like her for Sam. What you don’t like, unfortunately, is how much seeing them together reminds you of how very much alone you are. You try to ignore it, but it’s like an itch in the middle of your back that you just can’t reach—a constant reminder that you, kid, are and presumably always will be flying solo.</p><p>So when Dean mentions that he needs air, you decide to seize the opportunity and get the hell out of Lovah-ville while the getting’s good. Even though you get the sense that Dean doesn’t want you tagging along, he doesn’t say as much. You could both use a break, truth be told, and a nice, easy escape sounds like just the thing. You feel like you’re seventeen again, inviting yourself along on one of Dean’s rides, and even though it <em>should</em> spark some level of shame in you, you’re truthfully too exhausted at this point to feel it. Besides, it’s been a while since it’s been just the two of you, and you’re pretty good at reading each other when it comes to that sense of quiet togetherness that only comes from really long-lasting friendship. You hit the road to Texahoma and spend most of the trip in silence, with Black Sabbath and Twisted Sister providing most of the soundtrack to the drive. It’s not until you’re almost there that Dean reveals the truth for this little sojourn: you’re not just “getting air,” the two of you are on a hunt.</p><p>That suits you just fine. Until Swayze’s.</p><p>You pull into the parking lot and watch Dean’s eyes light up as he takes it all in. Hunt or no, this is exactly the sort of place he needs to be right now. It’s practically a wet dream come to life. Truth be told, you’re pretty sold on the idea yourself, even in spite of the nagging familiarity about the joint. It looks like the right place to blow off some steam, to pick up a guy or two, and to throw back a couple dozen well drinks all in the name of the family business.</p><p>The two of you park and head up the steps to the front doors.</p><p>“Just a head’s up,” you murmur as Dean moves to push his way inside, “I plan on drinking <em>all</em> the drinks tonight. All of them.”</p><p>He cracks a grin and opens the door for you.  “Glad we’re on the same page.”</p><p>Oh yeah, this place is <em>awesome</em>. If the outside was a wet dream, the interior is a full-on fantasy: pool tables, a live band, hot cowboys, hotter waitresses—you’re this close to pinching yourself to see whether or not you’re dreaming. Dean looks like a kid in a candy store, and why shouldn’t he? God damn, this is something you’ve both needed for a very long time.</p><p>You’re barely past the threshold when a hot brunette weaves through the crowd and makes her way toward you and Dean. She’s batting her eyelashes at him before she even says her first word, which sets you pretty well at ease. Nothing pisses you off faster than strangers assuming you and Dean are a couple (well, almost nothing), and she definitely doesn’t see you as anything more than another customer as she flirts her way onto Dean’s good side.</p><p>Good for him, you think as she demands your phones. The gal’s hot, seems like she’s got a sense of adventure, and sounds pretty game for anything Dean’s got in mind. It makes you smile, even though that annoying itch from the bunker is back. Twenty seconds in the joint and Dean’s already got a conquest. Hardly anyone has given you a second glance.</p><p>Jesus. You need to get a grip. If your loneliness is so bad that a waitress hitting on Dean has got you feeling wistful for something more, you are in a bad way. What is going on with you, kid? God’s got a personal vendetta against you—you ought to be thinking about a lot more than where your next lay is coming from. Instead, here you are, casting forlorn glances around the room, assessing conquests and trying to get a better glimpse of the singer onstage. Something about his voice is so familiar, it’s almost got tears coming to your eyes. What the fuck, man. You need way more than some air and a stiff drink. You need a full-on lobotomy.</p><p>Dean’s doing his job while you stand silently by trying to get a better look at the lead singer. He finishes his song and turns from the mic just long enough for both you and Dean to see his face. You know exactly who you’re looking at, and, from the looks of it, so does Dean. Your heart stops beating and you feel all the blood in your body drain to your feet.</p><p>Dean says it before you do: “Lee Webb.” He starts in Lee’s direction and it takes you a moment to get your feet working. Your mouth is dry. Your legs weigh about a million pounds each. You feel like you’re about to pass out. Somehow, by some grace of who-the-hell-knows-what, you follow him. Too coincidental to be a coincidence, all right. Lee god-damn Webb.</p><p>“Son of a bitch,” Dean growls at him. It takes Lee a moment to put it together, but he does.</p><p>“Dean friggin’ Winchester,” Lee replies. They stare at each other for a solid moment before breaking out in pure brotastic ecstasy. They hug, they shout, they do the two-second catch-up, and you’re still staring at Lee, dumbfounded.</p><p>Because this… oh boy. This is the <em>first</em>. The first man you ever slept with. The first man you ever loved. The first man who ever broke your heart. The first man (maybe the only man) you ever forgave for it.</p><p>When you come back to reality, you realize Lee is staring directly at you with the biggest, dopiest grin on his face you have ever seen. He says your name like he’s been saying it every day for years. You’re trying to figure out how to respond when he sweeps you into his arms and holds you against him tighter than you’ve been held in over a decade. The craziest thing is how <em>right</em> it feels, how familiar. You can’t help it. You’re grinning like an idiot too. Coincidence be damned. This is fuckin’ kismet.</p><p>“Jesus, Lee,” you manage, burying your face in the crook of his neck and breathing him in. God damn, he even smells the same. It takes every ounce of self control you have not to kiss him right then and there, right where his throat and his ear connect, right where you know he loves to be kissed. You pull back and stare into his eyes as the past seventeen years melt away in an instant.</p><p>“Unbelievable. Hey, hey Lorna!” Lee shouts, looking past you. “Lorna? Lorna!” The hot brunette waitress is back, smiling at the three of you. You like her even better now that the night is starting to look up. “Hey, can we get a couple of beers for me and my boy and my best girl here?” He turns to Dean, “You got time right?”</p><p>“Always,” Dean responds. You nod enthusiastically, your throat uncharacteristically tight. “You own the place!” He continues, throwing his arm around Lee’s shoulders as the two of them follow Lorna. Without saying anything, Lee reaches back and slips his hand into yours. You take it and hold on for dear life as you walk behind them. Lee god-damn Webb.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. First Time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>You think back to the first night you and Lee spent together.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Your first time is supposed to be special. That’s what they say, at least. It’s supposed to be romantic, maybe even on prom night. It’s supposed to be with someone you love. And it’s supposed to be perfect.</p><p>Well, your first time is special, all right. Just not the way the teen magazines would have you believe. You’re in some crummy motel room outside of Jackson, Mississippi, something with double beds and a shitty couch that’s right down the road from a Waffle House, and it’s a crummy motel room that happens to share a wall with the room housing the four most important men in your life: John and Dean Winchester, your dad, and Lee god-damn Webb. You’re not sure where John, Dean, and your dad have gone at this point, but you know exactly where Lee is: lying on top of you, staring down at you like you’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. You’ve known each other for a couple years at this point, but it’s the first time anything even remotely like this has happened. You’re not quite 18, and, as far as you’re concerned, Lee’s had eyes for everyone and everything BUT you. Apparently not, you realized when he knocked on your door a little over an hour ago, soaking wet from the unexpected rainstorm still coming down outside and totally alone.</p><p>“Where is everyone?” you’d asked stupidly, not quite understanding what he was doing at your door. Instead of answering, he’d leaned forward and swept you unexpectedly into a kiss. It caught you so off-guard, you didn’t even kiss him back at first until he pulled away and turned to leave.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” he said. “That was a mistake.”</p><p>You came to your senses rather quickly after that. “No,” you all but shouted, grabbing his arm as he started away. “No, I just…” He turned back to face you and saw the question written on your face. “I don’t understand.”</p><p>“I’ve wanted you for months,” Lee said, stunning you further into silence. “D'you really not know?”</p><p>“I… just thought…” you stammered, not sure what to say. What <em>did</em> you think? Well, you certainly didn’t think Lee Webb considered you anything more than a friend, that was for damn sure. A sister, maybe, like Dean, but nothing beyond that. And if your weird-ass crush on Dean had taught you anything, it was that falling for another hunter, especially one as close to you and your family as Lee, was a lost cause. Worse than a lost cause—it was straight-up dangerous. It was the sort of thing bound to get you killed someday if you played your cards wrong.</p><p>“You’re older than me,” you said stupidly, the words tumbling out of your mouth.</p><p>Lee chuckled. “Yeah, I realize that. Why do you think I waited to do anything?” You don’t respond. “Besides, I didn’t think there was a chance with you against Dean, if I’m bein’ honest.”</p><p>Your face turns bright red. “There’s nothing going on between me and Dean,” you say defensively. Lee nods.</p><p>“Yeah, I know. But I’ve seen the way you look at him.” He kicks a little at the door jamb. “Was kind of hoping to catch you lookin’ at me that way at some point.”</p><p>The heat in your face turns itself up. Of course you’d looked at Lee like that. How could you not? The way he flirted so casually, the way he knocked your chin playfully whenever he was making fun of you, the way his fingers brushed against yours when he was sneaking you sips of Hunter’s Helper behind your dad’s back. Sure, you’d always had some kind of crush on Dean, but that was child’s play compared to the way you’d started thinking of Lee. You just never thought you’d stood a chance. How could you? Lee was a man. A hunter. What the hell would he want with a kid like you?</p><p>His fingers were suddenly on your chin lifting your face so he could look you in the eye. “Kid, I’m crazy about you. No matter how crazy it sounds to say it. I want you, sweetheart… however you’ll take me.” He cupped your cheek gently and stroked it with his thumb. “And if you don’t want me, then I disappear like this never happened. Had to shoot my shot, though, you know?”</p><p>You stared at him for what felt like an eternity, head spinning, before nodding and pulling him inside.</p><p>It’s not like the magazines suggested at all. It’s not romantic or perfect, but it’s real. You’re not sure you love Lee the way they say you’re supposed to love the first person you sleep with, but you do love him. You love him for all the times he’s pulled your ass out of the fire. You love him for the late night milkshakes you’ve split after particularly brutal hunts. You love him for the long car rides and the hours he’s spent with you fixing your truck. You love him for the sing-alongs and karaoke nights you’ve had as long as you’ve known each other.</p><p>The sex is almost secondary to all that. It’s still great (or as great as a first time can be), but it’s not everything. It’s part of everything, which is what makes it great. Magazines be damned. Perfection is overrated. He manages to make you come, even, which is pretty damn surprising, considering how physically uncomfortable losing your virginity is, but Lee takes his time. And when he finishes, when it’s over, the look of reverence on his face takes your entire breath away.</p><p>“You okay?” he asks, still on top of you. He brushes your hair out of your face gently.</p><p>You nod. “I’m okay. That was…”  You’re not sure what to say. “That was sex.”</p><p>Lee chuckles. “Yeah, it was definitely that.” He stops when the realization hits him. “Wait,” he rolls off of you and stares at you in abject horror. “Was that… Was I your first?”</p><p>You bury your face in your hands. Jesus fucking Christ. You were not prepared for this. “Yes,” you say, the word muffled by your fingers.</p><p>“God damn,” Lee says, completely stunned. “I should have… I don’t know. I should have done something… better?”</p><p>“Something better?” you echo.</p><p>“You know,” he continues, sounding completely flabbergasted. “Something special. Something… else? Something you do for someone’s first time.”</p><p>Fuck fuck fuck, this is embarrassing. You roll away from him and pull yourself up to a sitting position to better hide your face from him against your knees. “No, I don’t want that. I didn’t want this to be a big deal. I never wanted it to be a big deal, I just wanted, y’know…” you pause, unsure of what to say next. “I just wanted to get it over with.”</p><p>“Oh.” Lee sounds hurt. You look over at him, and he looks so dejected, you feel like a complete  cad.</p><p>“No, no, no,” you correct yourself, “I didn’t mean it like that. I’ve had a huge thing for you for <em>ever</em>, Lee. I just meant…” Shit, what DID you mean? “I meant I didn’t want it to be a big thing to have sex for the first time. I just wanted to do it. I never thought in a million years it would be with you.”</p><p>You’re both quiet for a very long time and you’re worried you’ve completely screwed this up.</p><p>“You’ve had a huge thing for me, huh?” Lee finally says, and you can’t help but laugh.</p><p>“I swear to god, if you tell Dean, I’ll kill you,” you warn, leaning into him.</p><p>“Believe me, if I tell Dean, <em>he’ll</em> kill me. You're practically his baby sister.” He reaches up and runs his fingers through your hair.</p><p>“So this is just a one-time thing?” you ask, unable to keep the disappointment out of your voice.</p><p>“Not unless you want it to be,” he answers. You turn your face up to his and he leans down to kiss you.</p><p>“No,” you say firmly when you break the kiss. “Many times would be much better. Just as long as nobody finds out.”</p><p>Lee laughs. “Believe me, I’m not lookin’ to get my ass kicked by three men on a daily basis. This can stay between you and me, kid.”</p><p>And for a while, it does.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Ever Regret It?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In the neon beauty of Swayze's, you, Lee, and Dean play a quick game of catch-up.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Back in the present, you’ve just about gotten over your shock. The three of you are sitting at the bar tossing back a couple of cold ones. As you all play catch up, you keep catching Lee staring at you past Dean, and you feel a warmth in your belly that doesn’t have anything to do with booze.</p><p>“Tell me brother, how’s the old man?” Lee asks. Both you and Dean drop your eyes.</p><p>“He died,” Dean says simply. Now it’s Lee’s turn to look down. “Yeah, thirteen years ago. But hey, he died doing what he loved the most: kickin’ ass and takin’ names.” You can’t help but smile at that.</p><p>Lee and Dean are quiet for a moment before Lee speaks again. “I’m sorry, man.” Dean nods.</p><p>“I appreciate that,” he responds. You’re actually impressed. This is maybe the first normal conversation about John’s death that Dean has ever had. It makes sense it would be with Lee, given all your history together. There’s years of friendship there, even if you haven’t spoken in over a decade. It’s the kind of history that bonds you to a person for life, and you’re reminded of that every time you and Lee make fleeting eye contact and can still feel that rush of first love with each passing glance.</p><p>Lee breaks eye contact with you again and chuckles. “I always liked that crusty son of a bitch.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Dean laughs.</p><p>Lee inhales sharply, his breath catching on the edge of suppressed laughter. “You remember that time he caught us wasted on a hunt?” You nearly spit your beer out remembering that. “He was so mad,” Lee stammers, “I thought he was gonna have an aneurysm.” He cracks up, and so do you, before you grow almost completely silent.</p><p>You remember that hunt all right, and how angry John was. You also remember how mad YOUR dad was, finding you in such a compromising situation with both Dean and Lee like he had. He didn’t speak to you for almost a week, and you were sure he’d figured out you and Lee were sleeping together that night even though he never said anything in the end. Not at that point, anyway. You take another swallow of beer and hope it will knock out the lump forming in your throat before it has a chance to catch.</p><p>Dean’s laughing himself. “But I tell you what, he always liked you. He always liked you. He’d always said he’d never seen anybody better in a fight, and that is high praise coming from my old man.”</p><p>There’s silence among the three of you again before Lee picks up his beer and offers the neck to the two of you. “To John Winchester.”</p><p>“Hey,” Dean says, tapping his bottle against Lee’s. “Thank you.” You add yours and the ménage is complete.</p><p>“So what about your old man?” Lee says, shifting his attention to you. “He sure as hell didn’t have much praise for me after he figured out what was going on between the two of us.” His tone is light, joking. His eyes are sparkling, and god, you wish you could keep that look on his face for just a minute longer. You and Dean share a look, unfortunately long enough for Lee to take in its meaning. He turns his eyes to you apologetically, and you see the deepest of condolences shining in them.</p><p>“Happened about six months before John,” you say, trying to keep it casual. “Werewolves, outside of Des Moines.”</p><p>Lee nods and reaches across the bar past Dean to take your hand. “I’m sorry to hear about that. He may not have liked me much, but he was a good man.”</p><p>“He liked you fine,” you counter, taking another sip of beer. “Just would have preferred it if you hadn’t been schtupping his only daughter.” You and Lee both manage to grin at that before the silence settles back in and Lee takes his hand back. You find yourself immediately wishing he hadn’t.</p><p>Dean finishes another slug and sets his beer down on the bar top. “Man, so, I don’t think I have seen you since Sammy was in college.”</p><p>“Right,” Lee agrees.</p><p>“I mean, hell, I thought you were—” he stops himself, but Lee picks up what he’s put down.</p><p>“Dead.” You can’t help nodding.</p><p>“Well,” Dean looks down again. You do too, because you know what’s coming, “I mean, that’s usually how this ends, isn’t it?”</p><p>Lee stares at both of you hard, taking in the sight of your faces like he’s seeing them for the first time. “Yeah.”</p><p>The silence is back, and none of you can think of that to say. What IS there to say, really?</p><p>Well, Lee picks up the gauntlet. “You remember that cult thing we did in Arizona?”</p><p>“Oh yeah, I remember that,” Dean replies.</p><p>“Me too,” you say with a tone of regret.</p><p>“Well,” Lee continues, “I did one more case right after that. Right around here. And…” he takes a moment to make sure you’re both really paying attention when he finishes, “I decided that wasn’t the life for me anymore.”</p><p>You’re shocked, to say the least. Lee was one of the greatest hunters you ever knew. You were sure he would go down swinging. Hell, he’d told you as much plenty of times when you were wrapped around each other in bed. Your brows knit together in confusion in spite of your best efforts to keep your emotions off of your face. If he sees the expression, he ignores it.</p><p>“I scrounged up what I could,” Lee’s continuing as you’re still trying to wrap your head around his story, “and I bought this joint.” He pauses for a moment before throwing his arms up and doing a weird little victory dance. “Livin’ the dream!” Neither you nor Dean can help but laugh at that.</p><p>“Hell yeah, you are,” you chuckle, taking a sip of your beer.</p><p>“Let me ask you something,” Dean presses. You know where this is going and try to nonchalantly down the rest of your bottle as he speaks. “You ever regret it? Walkin’ away?” The silence is back. Big surprise. Lee’s eyes focus on Deans as he answers.</p><p>“Not once,” he smiles. His eyes shift to yours and he holds your gaze as you try your best not to look away.</p><p>Not once, he says. And in that smile, you can see the part he really wants to say, but is keeping to himself: And you won’t regret it either.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Figures</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The night Dean figures out what you and Lee have been up to.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s been about two months since you and Lee started seeing each other, and, as far as you know, no one’s the wiser. It’s no surprise, however, that Dean is the first one to pick up on it.</p><p>He’s watched Lee for weeks in the bars after hunts. Usually the two of them zero in on a hot pair of college girls looking to blow off some steam, take them back to their respective cars, and then high five (literally—you’ve seen them do it a handful of times) when all is said and done. After the second week, he assumes something’s eating at Lee. When the third week comes and goes without even the slightest attempt by Lee to get some strange, he’s outright suspicious. It’s the fourth week that he decides to start watching you. You’ve always been a flirt by nature, and Dean has no idea whether or not you’ve ever slept with anyone before, but it seems your girlish ways have ground to a complete halt in the last sixty days. Your fake ID flirting has become perfunctory at best, and you don’t even seem to take notice of the guys (or girls) you’d normally hit on as soon as you had a beer in you.</p><p>You’re all finishing a case outside Des Moines the night Dean calls you out. Your dad and John have headed off to their room to get some shut eye, while you, Dean, and Lee decide to grab a bite at a local joint. Afterwards, they’ll head off together to the “man room” while you get your own space to yourself for a few hours before blowing out of town. It’s been that way since you hit puberty, to tell the truth, though you’ve never really been able to appreciate it until now.</p><p>The diner you hit is like so many others—stuck somewhere between ‘50s nostalgia and more recent upgrades, with the food quality set firmly in the mid-70s. At this late hour, the three of you are the only people in the joint save the staff. You walk in and are immediately met by the dazzling smile of a drop-dead gorgeous redheaded waitress who promises to “take care of you” for the evening. Dean’s smirk widens to a shit-eating grin. Under normal circumstances, you and Lee would be right there with him, but tonight you’re both barely managing smiles that don’t quite make it past your cheeks.</p><p>The redhead (Candice, she says her name is) leads you to your booth and offers you menus. “Ladies first,” she demures to you, letting her fingers brush yours as she passes the menu off. You blush politely and mumble something about “girl power,” before she walks away, and that’s the first sign to Dean that he’s right on the money and something is 100% happening between you and Lee.</p><p>You scoot your way to the window and watch as Dean and Lee cram into the other side opposite you. You meet Lee’s eyes for a brief minute before deliberately dropping your gaze to the menu. The two of you have been making a concerted effort to interact even less than normal, as if that will somehow throw everyone off your trail. When you’re sure you’re alone, of course, you take every opportunity you can get to bang it out. You’re practically quickie pros at this point, aside from the few evenings you’ve managed to steal away to the secrecy of your motel room under the pretense that Lee’s gone out to meet someone else. It’s hard (pun intended), but worth it. You’ve had “boyfriends” before, but nothing like this. Nothing like sharing every aspect of your life with the person you’re head over heels for. You’ve never had to lie to Lee about anything, and that is <em>everything.</em></p><p>“I’m gonna hit the head,” Lee announces, snaking his way out of the booth. “Order me something with meat and cheese,” he asks, tipping you a wink and punching Dean lightly on the shoulder before walking away.</p><p>Dean chuckles, but there’s no heart in it. As soon as Lee is out of earshot, he tosses his menu on the table and leans in to stare at you. “All right,” he starts, pulling your own menu out of your face. “What the hell is going on with the two of you?”</p><p>For a second, you freeze. You look like a deer caught in headlights. You wait for Dean to laugh and tell you he’s just kidding, but he goes on staring at you like he’d bore a hole in your head if he could. “I don’t—”</p><p>“Don’t lie to me, kid,” he warns. You feel immediately guilty. “I know something’s up. You’ve never lied to me before. Please don’t start now.”</p><p>You drop your hands into your lap and grab a quick glance at the bathrooms. There’s no sign of Lee. God damn, you do not want to have to do this part alone.</p><p>“It started two months ago—”</p><p>“Two <em>months</em>?” Dean cuts you off with something that for his deep timber is practically a shriek.</p><p>“Please don’t freak out!” You beg, putting your hands up.</p><p>“I am going to kill that son of a bitch,” he growls, readying himself to stand up and follow Lee into the restroom for some Grindhouse-style violence. You reach across the table and grab his arm, digging your nails into his coat.</p><p>“Dean, no, you can’t,” your voice is high and frantic. You’ve fucked up big time. Lee is about to get his ass handed to him, and it’s all your fault.</p><p>“The hell I can’t,” he retorts, trying to pull his arm out of your grip. “He is way too old for you!”</p><p>“He’s barely older than you are!” you shout, drawing attention from Candice and her coworkers in spite of yourself.</p><p>“Right,” Dean agrees, “and <em>I</em> am way too old for you. You’re a kid.”</p><p>Without thinking, you release Dean’s arm and punch him as hard as you can in his bicep. The shock of it actually stops him in his tracks. “You’re an asshole, Dean.” For a moment, all Dean can do is sit there staring at you. “You’ve never had a problem with the thought of me hooking up with <em>anyone</em> else, but for some reason you’ve got a problem with Lee?” Silence from the other side of the table. “You don’t care that he’s too old for me. You’re just mad that it’s <em>him.</em>”</p><p>“Am I interrupting something?” Without either you or Dean noticing, Lee’s back, standing at the head of the table with confusion scrawled across his face. You slump back in your seat in defeat. Dean stays alert, but doesn’t move either way.</p><p>“Seriously,” Lee continues, “… the hell did I just walk in on?”</p><p>“He knows,” you mumble, your mouth suddenly feeling way too heavy for your face.</p><p>Lee laughs for a second. “Knows?” he asks. “Knows wh—” But one look at Dean’s face gives the game away. “Shit,” he says, leaning forward onto the table and taking a deep breath through his nose.</p><p>“Yeah,” Dean agrees nastily, a sarcastic smile on his angry face. “So which one of you wants to explain this whole thing to me before I start swinging?”</p><p>“Look, brother,” Lee starts, but Dean slides over in a heartbeat and throws his finger into Lee’s face to shut him up.</p><p>“Don’t ‘brother’ me, damn it, unless you’re gonna ‘sister’ her,” he growls. Then, realizing what he’s said, he covers his face with his hands and groans so loudly you feel it in your bones. “That is so damn disgusting, I can’t even…” his voice trails off, and leaves you and Lee looking at each other guiltily in silence.</p><p>You’re all quiet for a long time before you speak again. “Please don’t tell my dad,” you manage. The plea sits there on the table for almost a full minute before both Dean and Lee burst out laughing.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Shots!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>As Dean and Lorna hit it off, you and Lee have a chance to reconnect a little.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean and Lorna seem to be hitting it off nicely. So nicely, in fact, that once you’ve all moved to a table and Lee suggests a round of shots, Dean offers to help her carry the four drinks to the table in spite of Lorna’s obvious ability to serve you all with her eyes closed. You smile after them fondly as they make their way to the bar, Lorna flirting with Dean so fiercely you’re sure you’d be able to see it from outer space.</p><p>“She’s great,” you say to Lee, eyes still focused on the two of them collecting shots. You notice with express glee that Lorna requests the bartender hand over the bottle.</p><p>“She really is,” Lee agrees, smiling at her from across the room. You catch the look as you turn back to face him and swallow a bit of your pride.</p><p>“So,” you ask, a little scared of the answer, “the two of you… y’know… together?”</p><p>“Me an’ Lorna?” Lee asks, looking taken aback. “Absolutely not!” he laughs, his face lighting up. God, you’ve missed his laugh. “I mean, we’ve hooked up once or twice after a late night, but you don’t keep employees like her around by shitting where you eat, you know?” Clearly some kind of look has just flashed across your face, because Lee is suddenly looking at you with a very serious glint in his eye. “There’s no one, kid. Just me and a few one-nighters here and there.” You nod slowly, trying your best to smile in a way that makes it all the way to your eyes. Then you notice how nervous Lee looks, and the smile fades. “What about you?” he asks, looking like he’s just about swallowed a bag of marbles.</p><p>You shake your head emphatically. “No, absolutely not.” You cast a glance at Lorna and Dean, who are taking their sweet-ass time at the bar. You wonder how much of it is on purpose, and how much is because they’re genuinely having a good time flirting with one another. When it looks like you’ve still got a minute alone with Lee, you turn back to him, folding your hands in front of you on the table. “There’s been guys. A couple I thought were in it for the long haul, and a whole bunch of…” what’d he call ‘em? “… one-nighters. But not for a while. Nothing serious, anyway.” Lee’s hand falls on yours and he’s looking at you with the weight of the world in his eyes. You gulp audibly.</p><p>“Listen, kid—”</p><p>He’s interrupted by the return of Dean and the lovely Lorna, four shots in hand and a bottle of whiskey to boot. The two of them set you all up and take their seats before Lorna leads the charge.</p><p>“To old friends,” she says, raising her shot glass. Then, turning to Dean and nodding in your direction, “And new ones.” You all nod in agreement and knock back the shots. Good lord, it has been a while since you’ve done shots like this. Beer is one thing, but straight hard liquor you tend to reserve for very special occasions and the deaths of your best friends. The taste hits you hard enough to almost knock you on your ass and you cough what feels like fire into a closed fist.</p><p>“God damn,” you exclaim. Dean is next to you doing something similar. Both Lorna and Lee are cracking up at your expressions.</p><p>“I’m disappointed, Dean,” Lorna says, pouting at him coquettishly. “From what little I’ve heard about you, I figured you’d be able to take it like a man.”</p><p>“This local hooch?” is all Dean manages to ask as he pounds his fist against his chest.</p><p>Lorna nods and hands him the bottle. “180 proof. Probably should have warned you. Quadruple distilled down the road a ways.”</p><p>“Whoo.” Dean breathes, trying to collect himself. You, meanwhile, have your head tilted back at a 90 degree angle as you try to catch your breath.</p><p>“I could grab something a little less flammable?” Lorna offers spiritedly. Both you and Dean shake your heads.</p><p>“No way,” you manage. “Too late to turn back now.”</p><p>Lee squeezes your hand gently. You’d legitimately forgotten it was there. Damn, that is some strong booze. “I knew there was a reason I liked you,” he says, smiling so broadly you’re afraid his mouth is going to stretch right off his head.</p><p>Lorna looks up suddenly at a group of newcomers to the bar. “Oop. I’d better go grab their phones before any of this ends up on YouTube.” She stands and grabs her basket from a nearby stool, then leans over and speaks very closely into Dean’s ear. “Keep my seat warm for me?”</p><p>“Oh, you got it,” Dean says, finally looking like he’s recovered from the shot. He looks at you, then down at Lee’s hand covering yours. A half-smile plays across his lips.</p><p>“So, Lee,” he starts, grabbing for the beer he has yet to finish. “When’d you start the band?”</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Confrontation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Back in 2001, Dean's known about you and Lee for a week when he finally gets you alone to confront you about it.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“So,” Dean says, turning the Impala from the two-lane highway you’re on to a deserted backroad late one night about a week after confirming you and Lee were hopping on the good foot and doing the bad thing, “You and Lee, huh?”</p><p>You’re pretty taken aback by the timing, but it’s true that this is the first time the two of you have been alone together since he figured it out. You nod from the passenger seat, nervously knocking against the window with your right knuckle as you wait to see where this is going. You, your dad, and the Winchesters are chasing a pack of ghouls in the Pacific Northwest at present; Lee took off a few days ago on a solo hunt down in Arkansas. It’s the first time since you got together that you’ve been apart for this long.</p><p>“Yup,” you mutter, “me and Lee.”</p><p>Dean’s quiet for a minute, and you’re almost sure he’s gonna drop the subject. But then, you remember, Dean’s not the type to drop something like this. Especially at his age, and especially where you’re concerned. “Aren’t you worried at all?” he asks, his eyes carefully on the road rather than on you.</p><p>“About what?” you ask, shifting in your seat to watch him. You pull up your legs so you’re sitting cross-legged since hugging your knees right now would make you feel far too childish for this conversation.</p><p>“I dunno,” Dean grumbles. “Everything? Your dad finding out? My dad finding out? Lee…” his voice trails off, and you see a very severe look of regret cross his features.</p><p>“Lee what?” you demand, turning to face him completely now. He still won’t look at you, and his lips are pressed tightly together like he’s not going to answer. “Dean,” you command, unwrapping your legs and sitting up bolt-straight next to him, “stop the car.”</p><p>“Kid, I—”</p><p>You’re not fucking around. “Stop the damn car, Dean.”</p><p>Surprisingly, Dean does as he’s told. He downshifts Baby and pulls her over as soon as he sees a spot, then kills the engine. You’re staring holes into the side of his head, but he’s trying his best to ignore you and continue looking out the windshield. The anger in your eyes apparently wins in the end, however, because he sighs deeply and turns to face you.</p><p>“Lee <em>what</em>?” you repeat yourself, your voice cold and commanding. It’s a neat trick for someone who’s been a legal adult for maybe twenty days at this point.</p><p>“Aren’t you worried that Lee might…” he sighs again, then brings his eyes up to yours. There’s a sadness in them, and you’re not sure who it’s for. “That Lee might get himself killed? Or,” and this is the part he really doesn’t want to say, “take off?”</p><p>You don’t have a response for that. Of course the thought has crossed your mind. You’re always worried about the possibility of one of your men dying—that’s a hazard of the trade. As for Lee leaving you, it’s an idea you’ve done your best to keep hidden deep in the back of your brain as much as possible. Dean bringing it up like this feels like’s driving a stake through your chest.</p><p>“I can’t believe you’d say that to me,” you snort in disbelief, turning away from him with a shake of your head.</p><p>“Look, I love Lee,” Dean protests. “You know I love him, but I also know the guy. He’s never stuck around for a girl before.”</p><p>“Has he ever hooked up with another hunter before?” you throw back at him, your pride wounded beyond belief.</p><p>You expect Dean to be stunned into silence, but you’re the one who’s stunned when he replies, “Yeah. A couple.”</p><p>You stay quiet as you continue to look out the passenger window, gnawing on your thumbnail as you try to process what Dean’s just said. You feel his hand on your shoulder after a couple of minutes pass. He’s trying to get you to turn and face him.</p><p>“I’m not saying this to hurt you. I’d never say anything to hurt you,” Dean’s saying behind you. “You deserve a guy who’s not gonna pick up and leave just because he feels like it.”</p><p>You finally turn to face him. “Has he said anything to you?” you ask, your voice barely above a whisper. You feel so young all of a sudden. You feel like a kid who’s just learned the truth about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny all at once.</p><p>“No,” Dean says quickly. You study his face. “And I’m not saying he will leave, I’m just saying… you need to know it’s a possibility.”</p><p>“You swear he hasn’t said anything to you?” your eyes narrow as you look for any sign that he’s lying.</p><p>Finally, he sighs deeply. “He’s talked about it.”</p><p>You immediately feel like you’re going to burst into tears. “He’s talked about leaving me?”</p><p>Dean’s face falls. “No, no, no—” he stammers, placing a hand on your upper back to steady you. “I mean he’s talked to me about you. I don’t think he’s ever talked to me about a chick before for longer than five minutes, kid. Ten, tops.”</p><p>You feel yourself relax a little. And then you’re instantly ashamed. You knew the second Lee kissed you that you were getting involved in something you shouldn’t be. You’re barely an adult. The world you know is full of monsters and death. You don’t know the first thing about being with a man, not in any real way. Lee’s the only one you’ve ever slept with, and—what?—you were just planning to be with him for the rest of your life? You can’t even tell your dad about what’s going on with him. You only told Dean because he figured it out and confronted you. You’re playing with fire, and the match is burning dangerously close to your fingers where you’re holding it. Where can this possibly go? Hunters don’t get happy endings. YOU don’t get happy endings. You’re an idiot for getting involved with Lee, and you’re also furious with him for starting up with you to begin with.</p><p>Dean watches all of these emotions play across your face and drops his head. He doesn’t know what to do here. The big brother in him is telling him to scream at you to run in the other direction until Lee disappears from view, but the other part of him, the part that wouldn’t be a hunter if his mom hadn’t died, wants him to tell you to grab hold of Lee as tightly as you can and never let go, never look back. He knows how the game is played. He knows the odds. Hell, he might have made a move on you himself if Lee hadn’t done it first and he wasn’t painfully aware of the harsh realities of the situation.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” he says at length, and you simply nod, gnawing your bottom lip.</p><p>“So do I cut things off with him?” you ask, bewildered. “Tell him it’s over before he meets up with us again?”</p><p>Dean makes an exasperated noise and runs his hands through his hair. “I wish I knew. I don’t know how any of this is supposed to work.”</p><p>“You ran from Cassie,” you point out quietly, almost immediately wishing you hadn’t. He nods back. Of course, this is years before you find out what really happened there.</p><p>“I did,” he says, the regret written painfully on his face. “And I still think it was the right thing to do.”</p><p>“So you think me calling it with Lee is the right thing to do,” you say. It’s more of a statement than a question.</p><p>“It’s different with you and Lee. He knows the way the world works. Cassie didn’t. Hell, god willing, she never will.”</p><p>“But is that enough?” You force Dean to meet your eyes. “Dean, I’ve never done this before.”</p><p>He scoffs playfully. “Kid, you’ve dated plenty of dudes…”</p><p>“Dated, Dean.” Your lips form a thin, colorless line on your face. “I’ve never—” you stop, too embarrassed to actually say the words.</p><p>Dean’s eyes grow as wide as dinner plates. “You never—I mean… Lee was—” It appears Dean Winchester can’t say it either. You’re nodding again, averting your gaze out of sheer embarrassment.</p><p>“Well, crap,” he finally says. “Then you’re really screwed.”</p><p>“No pun intended?” you joke, trying your best to smile. It’s about two sizes too small for you right now. Dean’s is the same.</p><p>“We ought to get going,” you say at last. “Our dads are going to wonder where we’ve been and I really don’t want to explain this little heart-to-heart to them.”</p><p>Dean nods again, turning his key in the ignition. He puts Baby back into first and is about to ease her back onto the road when he stops again and turns to look at you full-on.</p><p>“Can I ask you a question?” he asks, his voice dark and serious.</p><p>“Mhmm,” you say, your voice suddenly lost to words.</p><p>“Why Lee?” his eyes are burning into yours. Your cheeks burst into flame and you can feel the blush hitting you all the way down in your toes.</p><p>“He kissed me first,” you finally manage.</p><p>This seems to satisfy Dean. He pulls out onto the crappy country road and turns the radio on as loud as it will go. It’s Creedence, one of the better tunes, and it’s as good a background to your thoughts as you’re going to get just now.</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Triplets</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The reminiscing behinds in earnest with the story of Devonshire twins. Er, triplets. And then you and Lee find yourselves alone for the first time in years.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s not long before the group of you is roughly seven and a half sheets to the wind, and you don’t plan on slowing down any time soon. Whatever Lee’s just said has you laughing so hard, you’re  doubled over and basically in tears, even if you don’t quite remember what it was. Of course, it was at Dean’s expense, and your pseudo-brother is desperately trying to save face in front of Lorna, who, you have to admit, you wouldn’t mind taking a shot at yourself at this point in the evening.</p><p>Dean leans forward on the table, his dignity on the line. “Okay: One, three bottles of Jaeger is nobody’s friend—” He throws up one wavering finger, but you knock it down as fast as he puts it up.</p><p>“Beats the 180 proof rockgut,” you manage, still cackling.</p><p>Lee cracks a grin from his seat next to you. “Barely.” His hand finds its way to your thigh and you are suddenly having a very hard time keeping it together.</p><p>Dean ignores both of you, keeping his focus on Lorna as much as he can. “And B, they were twins,” he adds, definitively.</p><p>Lee throws his hands at him in protest, shaking his head. “Oh, no, no, no, no.”</p><p>“Oh?” Lorna laughs.</p><p>“Whoa, no they were not twins,” Lee insists, pointing his finger down in the middle of the table  like an Old World scholar. Lorna’s pouring you all new shots and distributing them as the three of you laugh and debate the status of the Devonshire… sisters. “They were triplets, uh, and we split them up fair and square.”</p><p>You grab what’s got to be your third or fourth bottle of beer of the night and down what’s left of it with a sound that’s halfway between a laugh and a groan. “Don’t tell me you forgot I got to be a part of the party that night, Dean?” Lorna looks at you in a mix of fondness and amazement, and you have the wherewithal to wiggle your eyebrows at her suggestively. Dean and Lee crack up in kind.</p><p>“That’s right,” Dean finally acquiesces between what have practically become giggles. “Triplets. Yeah. Yep.”</p><p>The four of you toss back yet another round of shots and wait for them to slide their burning paths down your throats.</p><p>“Mm,” Lorna chuckles to herself. “Mhmmm.” She gives Dean “the eyes,” and he almost misses them for a second before catching on.</p><p>Lee doesn’t miss it either, and before anyone can say anything else, he’s slamming his hands onto the table top in celebration. “Lorn, hon, why don’t you show Dean around the place?” He’s focusing his eyes on Lorna, but you can tell you’re in his peripheral vision and he’s making a play to get you alone for a second.</p><p>“What’s there to see?” she asks, challenging him a little bit as she casts a glance over to you. You make a concerned effort to look anywhere and everywhere else.</p><p>“Well, there’s the pool tables for starters,” Lee says, gesturing to his right. “And the bathrooms, of course.” Dean shoots him a look that could kill, but it doesn’t stop Lee from going on. “Then there’s the office, naturally, and the back room where we keep, y’know… the other stuff.”</p><p>“The back room?” Lorna says sarcastically.</p><p>“Yeah, you know. Where the kegs like to live before it’s their time to serve.” Lee leans back in his chair, grinning like an ass. “Bet you’d like to see that, huh, Dean-o?”</p><p>Dean shakes his head as he stares at Lorna. “Nah, I don’t need a tour that badly. Happy to just sit here and drink ‘til my face falls off.”</p><p>To his surprise, Lorna almost pouts. “Oh,” she says, her shoulders hunching forward. “Here I was thinking I’d flirted enough to get you to go pretty much anywhere with me.”</p><p>Well, that perks Dean right up. “No, I mean—” he looks to you for help, but you just shrug. “I mean, if you <em>want</em> to show me the keg room, I’d love to see it. I bet you’ve got nice kegs.” He realizes what he’s said as soon as you do. He shuts his eyes and tries to pretend he doesn’t exist just as you double over with laughter again, the kind that eventually stops being any kind of sound and is more of an effort just to catch your breath.</p><p>Lorna cackles herself and stands, stepping behind Dean and drawing her arms across his shoulders. “C’mon, cowboy. I’ll show you my kegs if you show me yours.”</p><p>He doesn’t have to be told twice. He’s on his feet in an instant, nearly falling over in the process, and lets her lead him by the shirt collar through the crowded bar floor to the door in the back next to the one marked “PRIVATE.”</p><p>You watch them leave, giggling to yourself, before turning your attention back to Lee. He’s staring at you with such intensity, your breath catches in your throat. A shiver courses through your body. It’s been a long time since anyone’s looked at you like that.</p><p>“Lee—” you start, but he cuts you off.</p><p>“Listen,” he leans in, pulling his chair in closer. He puts both of his hands on your knees and brings his face so close to yours it’s almost touching. “I fucked this up before. I can’t even tell you how badly I botched it. I don’t want to do that a second time.”</p><p>You sigh, and hate what you’re about to say because you know absolutely no good can come of it. “Then don’t do it a second time,” you whisper, and your lips brush against his as you talk. Before you know it, he’s kissing you with all the passion he had back when you were barely 18 and he was 24, back before the bevy of demons and demigods and dead fathers and dickhead angels. When he breaks the kiss, you’re out of breath.</p><p>He leans back and chuckles. “You’ve been practicing,” he says, licking his bottom lip.</p><p>“Well,” you counter, “it would have been kind of pathetic to sit around pining for you for the past decade and half, wouldn’t it?”</p><p>He nods. “Yeah, I guess it would.”</p><p>Behind him, the band’s starting up again. You look over at them and then back at Lee. “You need to go?”</p><p>"Nah, let ‘em do a set without me. They know what they’re doing.” He smiles. You smile back.</p><p>“Lee god-damn Webb,” you say, in total amazement. “I honestly never thought I’d see you again.”</p><p>“Feeling’s mutual, darlin’.” He’s got his hand on yours again and you realize how much you really don’t want to let go.</p><p>“How long do you think we’ve got before the two of them are finished using the keg room?” you ask, nodding your head in the direction Dean and Lorna have gone.</p><p>“Don’t worry, sweetheart,” Lee assures you, leaning in conspiratorially. “We got all night.” He smiles so lasciviously it makes you blush up past your hairline. “Besides,” he goes on, relaxing a bit, “I got an office upstairs that I think you’ll find much more comfortable.” He winks and you melt.</p><p>So you’re really gonna do this, then? You’re going to put aside everything that happened between the two of you like it was nothing and go right back to screwing this man you don’t even know anymore just because you have a history together? Alarm bells are going off in your head,  and you hate them so much you can’t think straight. Because you’ve earned this. You deserve this, god damn it. You deserve to be with a man you know at least used to love you, someone who knew you before the world fucking broke you and who sees your scars and cares about you anyway. You deserve Lee.</p><p>And what’s more, you want him. God, you want him more than anything.</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Father Knows Best</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The morning your dad figures it all out.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The only sound you hear in the room is the clock ticking loudly on the wall. It’s otherwise eerily silent. You’re sitting on your motel bed, the sheets piled up at your feet after another night with Lee. It had all gone according to plan until it hadn’t. Lee had made up some story about meeting a waitress, had driven his car around the corner from the motel, and walked back quietly, letting himself into your room with the key you’d given him sometime after midnight. You’d spent the evening screwing your brains out… apparently so much so that you’d forgotten that he needed to be gone by morning.</p><p>Six AM came and so did the pounding on your door. The two of you awoke with a start to the loud, unhappy sound of your dad’s voice demanding to know what the hell was going on in there.</p><p>“Just go hide in the bathroom,” you’d hissed, trying to figure out in the jumble of sheets just where the fuck your pajamas had gone.</p><p>“You don’t think that’s the first place he’s gonna check?” Lee replies, tugging his pants on as quickly as he’s found them.</p><p>“I can hear the two of you whispering in there,” your dad bellows. Your face falls. Fuck, fuck, motherfuck, shit. “Open the god damn door. Now.”</p><p>You pull on a t-shirt and a pair of sweat pants and scramble for the doorknob. “Wait, wait!” Lee whisper-shouts. He still doesn’t have his shirt on yet. He’s still pulling it over his head when you finally unbolt the door and let your dad inside.</p><p>He stands in the doorway fuming, his nostrils flaring as he looks around the room.</p><p>“Daddy—”</p><p>“Don’t.” He warns. “I’ll deal with you later. You—” he points directly at Lee “—in the other room. NOW.”</p><p>Lee follows without another word. First, your door slams, and then the one next door. It’s so quiet, you can’t hear anything but the clock, until finally your father starts shouting at the top of his lungs. You can’t make out exactly what he’s saying, but you know it’s not good. You make your way to the curtains beside the front door and sneak a peak outside. Dean and John are standing next to the Impala, their hands shoved deep in their pockets like they’d rather be anywhere else in the world. Well, you think, good on John. At least he’s not pulling this macho bullcrap like your dad’s trying to pull. John looks up and catches sight of you watching him, and gives you a quick nod before you drop the curtain and retreat back into the comfort of the motel room.</p><p>After what seems like an hour, even though it’s literally only been eleven minutes according to the very loud clock, there’s a knock at your door. You stand and walk toward it with trepidation, unsure  of who’s going to be on the other side. You could use the little peephole to check, but you figure this is  probably easier if you treat it like ripping off a Bandaid—you don’t need to psych yourself out of it before you even know what “it” is.</p><p>When you open the door, you’re not surprised to see your dad standing there instead of Lee. You move aside and he walks past you to sit on edge of the unused bed. You don’t say anything. What could you possibly say? This is literally the most awkward situation you have ever found yourself in in your entire life.</p><p>“Well,” he starts, “Lee told me everything.”</p><p>“Fuck,” is all you can manage.</p><p>He chuckles—<em>actually </em>chuckles. “You sure that’s the word you want to use, kiddo?”</p><p>“Dad,” you start, not sure what to do, “I’m so sorry.”</p><p>He sighs deeply and leans forward so his elbows are on his knees. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”</p><p>Well, you weren’t expecting that.</p><p>“You’re a grown woman, and I don’t get a say in who you choose to date or spend your time with.” He’s not making eye contact with you, but you don’t expect him to. Nor do you want him to. Weirdly, though, you do want to give him a hug. It’s the best possible response he could be giving you at this point.</p><p>You and your dad have always been close, but you’ve felt a widening gap between you for at least a year now. Maybe this little tete-a-tete proves you’ve just been imagining it. And if it doesn’t, then it at least proves that he’s still your dad, and he still cares about you.</p><p>But given the topic of conversation, a hug feels a little out of the question.</p><p>“He cares a lot about you,” your dad continues, catching you a little off-guard. You knew Lee <em>liked</em> you, of course, but you were a little unsure beyond that. “Pisses me off that the two of you have been sneaking around with this for three months, but I guess I understand. We don’t exactly live a normal life here.”</p><p>"No, we don’t,” you agree, moving to your own bed and sitting down in a way that almost exactly mirrors your father. You’re both quiet for a very long time.</p><p>“I want you be happy,” he says, unexpectedly. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you. I probably failed you, bringing you up like this,” he sighs, “but if Lee is what makes you happy, then I’m happy to support it.”</p><p>You have tears in your eyes when you look at him. When he looks up at you, you can see his eyes are shining too. “Okay, dad.”</p><p>“Okay, kid,” he says, pushing himself to his feet. He walks to where you’re sitting and kisses you on the top of your head like he did when you were a little girl. “I love you.”</p><p>“I love you too,” you say. He smiles, you smile, and then he walks to the door.</p><p>“We’re moving out in ten,” he adds casually. “Be ready by the truck by then.” With that, he heads outside and leaves you alone with your thoughts.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Good Ol' Boys</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The Three Amigos continue to catch up before a bar fight brings them all back to reality.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>By the time Dean comes back, you and Lee are completely wrapped up in each other, so to speak. You’ve pushed your chair up against his so your legs are resting between his. One of your hands is entwined with his; the other is on his knee. He pushes your hair behind your ear with his free hand just as Dean walks up to the table.</p><p>“So this is happening again?” his voice is playful, and why shouldn’t it be? He’s just gotten himself a whole lotta Lorna in the keg room. But underneath, you can hear it—that same worry he had almost a decade and a half ago. The worry you’re trying to shut down in the back of your own mind: <em>How can this possibly go anywhere good?</em></p><p>You pull back from Lee rather quickly, catching the flash of disappointment on his face as you move away. You can feel your cheeks getting hot as Dean pulls out the chair across from Lee and sits down.</p><p>“Just reminiscing, brother,” Lee offers, his voice pleasant but cautiously bland.</p><p>“‘Reminiscing,’” Dean chuckles, “is that what the kids are calling it these days?” He picks up a bottle of beer sitting in front of him, not sure at this point which one of you it belongs to.</p><p>“How was the keg room?” You ask with a false sweetness and a matching smirk. Underneath the table, you snake your leg around Lee’s and hook your calf around his. He tries to hide his smile in his own bottle of beer.</p><p>Dean smacks his lips and sets the beer back down with a huge grin. “Mighty fine, kid.” He looks from Lee to you, grin still plastered on his face, then offers, “You two up next?”</p><p>You lean over and punch him lightly in the chest. “I’m a god damn lady and you know it,” you counter, raising your eyebrows, daring him to contradict you.</p><p>Lee breaks in: “Besides, I got an office for that kind of thing.” He and Dean bust up laughing and you can’t do anything but cross your arms on the table and hide your face in them.</p><p>“Nooooooo,” you yell into the table, the noise muffled by your arms. “This is my nightmare.” But soon you’re giggling too. You can’t help it. As embarrassing as it is, you’ve missed this: having Lee and Dean together, shooting the shit, drinking on a case. It’s like no time has passed at all.</p><p>You lift your head as the laughter dies down, and for a moment, you all just look at each other. This is just so unexpected. Unbe-god-damn-lievable. Your hand finds Lee’s again, even though you catch a fleeting glance of something—disapproval? Disappointment?—on Dean’s face before Lee breaks the silence.</p><p>“The kid here’s been telling me what she’s been up to,” Lee says.</p><p>“Oh, I’m sure she hasn’t told you <em>all </em>of it,” Dean teases, shooting you a self-satisfied smirk. It takes you a minute to realize he means the people you’ve slept with since you and Lee were an item, and you smack him again.</p><p>“Dean.” You hiss, your voice low and stern. Dean puts up his hands and mimes zipping his mouth closed. God, you could just about throttle him right now.</p><p>“Well, maybe not all of it,” Lee answers, “but some of it, sure.” He winks at you again and leans in toward Dean. “And you know what? I kinda dig it.”</p><p>Dean bursts out laughing again, which prompts Lee to do the same. You shake your head and rub your forehead with the hand that isn’t holding Lee’s. “Jesus Christ, does it ever stop with you two?”</p><p>“You’re a sick man, Lee,” Dean says, picking up his bottle and raising it in deference. Lee pantomimes a bow. You roll your eyes at both of them.</p><p>“So tell me what’s been going on with you, brother,” Lee leans his free elbow on the table. “I hear you’ve been hunting dragons? Faeries? What kinda Harry Potter crap did you fall into?”</p><p>Dean smiles to himself and chuckles quietly. “Man, I can’t even tell you. All the weird shit we’ve seen…”</p><p>“Weirder than faeries?” Lee asks incredulously.</p><p>“Try angels,” Dean says after a long sip of beer.</p><p>Lee looks at Dean, then at you, and then back at Dean again. “I’m sorry, angels?” Both you and Dean shrug casually. Lee turns his attention back to you. “You, uh, left that part out, darlin’.”</p><p>You puff out your cheeks and let out a slow breath. “I was working my way up to it?”</p><p>“There was also the giant talking teddy bear,” Dean offers.</p><p>“Oh, and the alternate reality where our life was a freakin’ TV show,” you add glumly.</p><p>Lee’s staring at the two of you like you’ve both lost your minds, but he doesn’t say anything.</p><p>Dean takes another pull from his bottle. “And the guy who turned everything around him into a Bugs Bunny cartoon.”</p><p>“Okay, okay,” Lee slips his hand out of yours and holds both hands up as a sign to stop. “Now you’re just pullin’ my leg.”</p><p>“Hand to God,” you say, and instantly regret saying the word. Dean shoots you a look that you ignore and you grab your own beer for a nice, long chug.</p><p>“All right,” Lee says, eyeing you both warily with a laugh, “Dean—tell me the weirdest thing that’s happened to you since I saw you last.”</p><p>“The weirdest thing?” Dean repeats.</p><p>“Weirdest thing,” Lee confirms.</p><p>“Weirder than the TV show reality?” you ask in disbelief.</p><p>“Weirdest thing,” Lee says slowly, “that happened to <em>you</em>, Dean Winchester. Even if it’s dressin’ up in lady’s underwear to see The Rocky Horror Picture Show.”</p><p>Dean thinks about it for a moment. You think about it too. How do you pick the weirdest of all the weird you’ve waded through in fifteen years? You’re about to suggest the time he ate pizza with Death when Dean snaps his fingers, leans his elbows on the table, and looks Lee in the eye.</p><p>“Ghost sickness,” he says decisively.</p><p>Lee looks at him like he’s just spoken another language. “Ghost sickness?” He glances at you, and you’re nodding and shrugging simultaneously. That was pretty freaking weird, and it did only happen to Dean.</p><p>Dean nods and repeats himself, pointing at Lee to make his point. “Ghost sickness.” He sounds so serious when he continues, you almost crack up just listening to him. “Man, it was no fun. Everything was scary. This cat jumped out at me, had me checking my pants.” Lee busts up before you do, but you’re right behind him, doubled over as you remember the high-pitched scream Dean had let out when Sam opened that locker door to reveal that poor animal. Dean shakes his head. “I'm not joking. It was awful, man. Whew.” He lifts the beer back to his lips and drinks slowly, shaking his head slightly as if to get rid of the memory.</p><p>Lee stifles his laughter as best he can, running his thumb across his bottom lip. You can’t help but stare at his mouth while he does it. “You haven't even told me what case you're working on, man.”</p><p>Suddenly, Dean’s all business. The shift in tone is like dropping into first gear while you’re going 80. “Oh. Right. So, a girl went missing.” He pulls a piece of paper out of his pocket and starts unfolding it. “'Course, the sheriff thinks it's nothing, right?”</p><p>“Yeah, well, the sheriff in this town couldn't find his ass with a flashlight and a map,” Lee says, voice dripping with condescension.</p><p>“Yeah, we noticed that,” you say, with a half-hearted laugh that’s more a snort than anything.</p><p>Dean’s got the newspaper clipping with Angela’s picture out. He turns it to face Lee and passes it across the table, tapping on the smiling face in the photo. “You recognize her?”</p><p>Lee picks it up to study for a moment. “Ummm,” he says, his voice oddly flat, “no.” You shoot him a questioning glance, but he’s not looking at you to see it. He’s still staring at the photo, fixated on Angela’s face.</p><p>From somewhere off to the side, Lorna has reappeared, tray of drinks in hand. She takes one look at the clipping and then turns to Lee with a look of total confusion on her face. “That's Angela, Lee. She's in here all the time.”</p><p>You and Dean look at each other. Something passes between you, but you’re not sure what.</p><p>“Wait,” Lee stops to think, his eyes focusing on the table before they shift back to Lorna. “Is this the girl that doesn't drink that much?” His voice rises almost an octave when he makes the connection.</p><p>“That's the one,” Lorna confirms.</p><p>“But her friend?”</p><p>“Like a fish.”</p><p>“… Is like a fish.” Lee finishes.</p><p>“Huh,” is all Dean manages as he takes the clipping back and puts it away.</p><p>“What are you doing, man?” There’s an unmistakable sound of disappointment in Lee’s voice.</p><p>Confusion crosses Dean’s face, and yours. “What?”</p><p>“You're chasing missing persons, huh?” He says it with good-humored derision. “I thought you'd be on to something bigger by now, like the Loch Ness Monster...” Dean laughs and looks down. You chuckle and shake your head. “Bigfoot.” That one almost makes you smack him.</p><p>Dean’s gaze shifts from the table back to Lee as he toys with the beer bottle in front of him. “Trust me, bigger doesn't always equal better. Besides, who's gonna look out after the little guy?” he says with a chipper tone and a sardonic smirk. “God certainly isn't.” The bottle’s at his mouth again,  and so is yours. You’re immediately silent and sullen. You pull your leg back from Lee, who’s watching both of you with concern.</p><p>“Damn, brother, that's dark.”</p><p>“Yeah, it's been a rough, uh...” Dean’s trying to find the words for it, trying to find the strength to look up at his old friend. When he does, the weight of the world is in his eyes. “It's been a rough decade, Lee.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Lee agrees, without knowing exactly what he’s agreeing too. He stares at you for a second before reaching out and putting his hand on your knee. You give him a wan smile.</p><p>Dean waves his hands and decides it’s time to move on. “But that's a conversation for a different time, 'cause this,” he hits the table with both hands before motioning to the rest of the bar, “this right here? This is all right.”</p><p>Your smile’s become a little more genuine now. “Ain’t half bad, Lee.”</p><p>Lee smiles in return. “Well, I'm glad you approve.” Then his tone grows more serious. “This is nothing you can't have, man.”</p><p>“Oh, come on,” Dean retorts dismissively. “Who's gonna kill the bad guys?”</p><p>Lee’s face is darkly serious when he answers. “Somebody else.” You and Dean both have to look away at that. You swallow loudly. Dean stares at his beer. Lee, meanwhile, grabs the bottle that Lorna so graciously left and starts pouring into the empty shot glasses on the table. “Dean, how many lives you think you saved, huh? Hundreds? Thousands?”</p><p>“At least,” you mumble.</p><p>Lee nods and places a shot each in front of you and Dean. “You deserve a break, bro. Hell, you might even deserve two.” He gives you a long look. “Lord knows the kid could use it.” You ignore him, watching him stand up out of the corner of your eye. Off to your right, the band is starting to tune up again.</p><p>“Remember that old song your dad used to play us before we'd go out on a Hunt?” Lee sounds like a beleaguered colonel trying to rally his troops. At least trying to infuse some levity in the situation.</p><p>Dean’s chuckling again as soon as he remembers. “Yeah. Yeah, he'd pop it in the tape deck, say, ‘Listen up, boys…’” It takes you a minute, but you catch on quick. It was one of your favorite rituals when you were hunting with John.</p><p>You laugh and say it at the same time as he does. “This is real music.’” The memory leaves a beaming smile on your face.</p><p>Lee downs the shot he’s holding, then leans in like he's telling you a great secret. “Wasn’t wrong.” Then he’s turning and heading for the stage.</p><p>“Oh, no,” Dean mutters.</p><p>“Oh, yeah,” Lee answers. You don’t get it.</p><p>“What?” you ask, lost.</p><p>But Lee is already halfway across the room, addressing the band. "G.O.B., boys. Let’s go.” It finally hits you and you groan loudly. Lee snickers at your obvious pain. He grabs the microphone and stares Dean dead in the  eye. “Come on, boy.” You can’t help it. You clap your hands in sheer delight and start laughing again. This is gonna be great. “You can't just sit around lip-synching ‘Eye of the Tiger’ while no one's watching,” Lee goes on.</p><p>Dean shakes his head, politely trying to acquiesce. Well, you’re not about to let this opportunity pass you up. You down your shot and jump to your feet. “Dean, come on,” you say, tugging at his shirt. Liquid courage and all.</p><p>Lee grins wildly at you before turning his attention back to Dean. “Come on. Get up here.” You run to join him onstage and he slips his arm around your waist and gives you a squeeze. You’re laughing in sheer joy at this point. Everything about what’s about to happen is <em>wonderful</em>.</p><p>Dean shakes his head again, this time in disbelief, then finally stands up, downs his drink, and starts heading for the stage.</p><p>“YES!” you shout in triumph. Man, that shot is treating you well.</p><p>The crowd is cheering him on as he makes his way to you and Lee. As soon as he hits the stage, you and Lee pull apart so he can grab the microphone as Dean stands there looking like he’s about to throw up.</p><p>The band kicks up and Lee’s voice hits just at the right moment:</p><p>
  <em>♪ Just the good ol' boys ♪<br/>
</em>
  <em>♪ Never meanin' no harm ♪<br/>
</em>
  <em>♪ Beats all you ever saw ♪<br/>
</em>
  <em>♪ Been in trouble with the law ♪<br/>
</em>
  <em>♪ Since the day they was born ♪</em>
</p><p>You clap enthusiastically, practically jumping up and down with glee as Dean continues to stare ahead like a terrified kid at a spelling bee. It just makes this so much better. Lee steps back and motions Dean toward the microphone with his eyes. Dean, for his part, doesn’t move. Instead, he looks at you and nudges his head toward the mic.</p><p>“No, no,” you wave your hands and shout, barely audible over the band. “I only come in at the chorus.” You gesture broadly at the microphone. Both you and Lee crack up over Dean’s discomfort, and before you know it, you’re back at his side again as you both refuse to take the lead.</p><p>Finally, tentatively, Dean steps up to the mic with all the enthusiasm of a dying man. Lee squeezes you again and you place a hand on his chest. It just feels so right, all of this. Then Dean taps the head of the microphone, resulting in some feedback, and you’re doubled over laughing again. You know you’re not helping, but it’s just too good.</p><p>When Dean finally opens his mouth to sing, it’s friggin' perfect:</p><p>
  <em>♪ Straightenin' the curves ♪</em>
</p><p>“Yes, YES!” you shout again, throwing your arms around Lee’s waist.</p><p>
  <em>♪ Oh, flattenin' the hills ♪</em>
</p><p>“Whoo!” Lee adds in encouragement.</p><p>
  <em>♪ Someday the mountain might get 'em ♪<br/>
</em>
  <em>♪ But the law never will ♪</em>
</p><p>And now it’s the moment. The best part of all of this: the part where you get to join in on the upper harmony with your guys like none of you has a care in the world. The three of you surround the mic as the band moves into the chorus:</p><p>
  <em>♪ Making their way ♪<br/>
</em>
  <em>♪ The only way they know how ♪<br/>
</em>
  <em>♪ Yeah, well, that's just a little bit more ♪<br/>
</em>
  <em>♪ Than the law will allow ♪</em>
</p><p>You all pull back as Lee smacks Dean’s ass. You grin so widely you think your lips might be meeting at the back of your head.</p><p>“Ha!” Dean snorts playfully, “You son of a bitch!”</p><p>The band takes it from there for a few bars, giving Lee a chance to pull you back against him. You nuzzle his neck for a moment, completely forgetting that you’re in front of an audience. Your adrenaline is high, and your BAC is even higher. This is just too much god damn fun. Lee was right about that—you definitely deserve this.</p><p>And that’s all the time you have before the chorus comes in again. Dean and Lee each grab a mic from center stage, and you share Lee’s, shoulder to shoulder as the three of you lean into each other:</p><p>
  <em>♪ Making their way ♪<br/>
</em>
  <em>♪ The only way they know how ♪<br/>
</em>
  <em>♪ Yeah, well, that's just a little bit more ♪<br/>
</em>
  <em>♪ Than the law will allow ♪</em>
</p><p>Lee points to himself and gives Dean a knowing nod. He’ll take this part, like he always does:</p><p>
  <em>♪ I'm a good ol' boy ♪</em>
</p><p>And Dean will take the next part, like he always does:</p><p>
  <em>♪ You know my mama loves me ♪</em>
</p><p>And now you’re back in the mix, because Lord knows you can’t finish a stanza this good without a nice, twinkling harmony leading you back into the chorus:</p><p>
  <em>♪ But she don't understand why they keep showin' my hands ♪<br/>
</em>
  <em>♪ And not my face on TV ♪</em>
</p><p>Lee lets out a whoop before you’re all swinging in again:</p><p>
  <em>♪ Making their way ♪<br/>
</em>
  <em>♪ The only way they know how ♪</em>
</p><p>Years of practice (granted, over a decade ago) allows you all to get the tempo change right. You haven’t felt this good and free in years.</p><p>You’ve rounded the bases and have your sights set on home when Lee suddenly jumps to a harmony <em>higher</em> than yours:</p><p>
  <em>♪ Well, that's just a little bit more ♪<br/>
</em>
  <em>♪ Than the law will allow ♪</em>
</p><p>The band finishes with a flourish and the three of you stand there smiling and catching your breaths as the crowd cheers. Damn, it feels amazing. You’re practically high on it. From the sound of it, so are Lee and Dean.</p><p>“Well, never got a standing ovation before,” Dean cracks, looking out at that cheering sea of faces.</p><p>Lee chuckles and finds his way to your side again. “Yeah, feels pretty good, don't it?” He throws his arm around your shoulders and you lean into him, grateful for this perfect, untouchable moment.</p><p>But then, of course, life, ahhh, finds a way.</p><p>The sounds of shouts at the back of the crowd shatters that perfection and you all start looking for the source of the noise. You see a blonde girl surrounded by what looks like a group of bikers. They’re grabbing at her as she tries to pull away from them. You grit your teeth against your own memories and stiffen under Lee’s arm. He notices right away and follows your gaze to where the girl and her assailants are standing.</p><p>“Stop it!” The blonde is shouting. “Hey! Hey! Leave me alone.” One of them shoves her, hard.</p><p>The smile is gone from Dean’s face. “Hey,” he says to you and Lee, and you close ranks behind him.</p><p>The blonde continues to shout stop, and it’s clear the bikers have no intention of doing so. You’re boiling with anger at this point, ready to run in there, all fists and teeth.</p><p>Dean leans back to Lee. “‘Road House’ rules?” he asks.</p><p>“‘Road House’ rules.” Lee agrees, and the three of you charge through the crowd to where the blonde is still pleading with those assholes.</p><p>“Stop! Stop!” she begs again.</p><p>Dean approaches them first. “Hey. Hey!” He hits the lead biker on the shoulder and turns him around. “I think you fellas have had enough,” he says, politely enough. “Time to leave.” The smile on his face is not pleasant. You’re seething silently behind him, eyes locked on one of the dickbags who’s now turned his attention to you.</p><p>But Lead Biker Guy doesn’t seem to get it. He doesn’t seem to understand this isn’t an offer. “Nah,” he sneers, “I think we'll stay a while.”</p><p>“Really?” you ask with a smile, eyebrows high. Dean and Lee exchange a look behind you. Even without seeing them, you know what all your faces say: Fellas, you done fucked up.</p><p>Lee grabs the man behind Sally by the collar and forcefully drags him to the entrance of the bar. He punches him in the gut once, twice, and once across the face for good measure. Dean lands a right hook on Lead Biker Guy’s jaw, stunning him long enough for the Winchester to grab him in a headlock and drag him kicking and screaming to the door. The man who’s turned his attention to  you sees his chance and takes a leap in your direction. Big mistake. You duck and catch him in the stomach, using his momentum to throw him over your shoulders and onto the ground—hard. He struggles to stand up and you kick him in the back hard enough to hear something crack as he stumbles towards and out the front door, just as Dean is throwing Lead Biker Guy onto the porch and Lee is hurling—literally hurling—his biker through the god damn window.</p><p>The three of you come together in the doorway and look at the magnificent damage you’ve done.</p><p>“Still got it,” Lee quips. He and Dean fist bump and laugh, turning to go back inside.</p><p>Before the door even closes, Lee’s grabbed you and pulled you in for a kiss. You throw everything you have into it. You’ve missed this. You’ve missed this so much.</p><p>At the corner of the bar, Lorna is trying to calm the blonde down, stroking her arm gently. “Bunch of jerks.”</p><p>“Yep,” the blonde agrees, clearly already a few drinks in.</p><p>“You all right, Sally?” Lorna asks, concerned.</p><p>Dean immediately catches it, even if you don’t. “Sally? Sally Anderson?” he questions.</p><p>That’s all it takes for you to pull away from Lee. There’s a fleeting look of anger on Lee’s face, but you don’t have time to register it.</p><p>“Yeah,” Sally murmurs. “Why?”</p><p>Dean gives a strange little nod.</p><p>And like that, you’re back on the case. You’re back to being a hunter.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Been a while between updates, thanks to the pandemic. Been super stressed between losing a job and starting to show symptoms, but this was a great distraction!</p><p>I know it's primarily dialogue from the show, which is why partially I put off writing it for so long. Like I said, I hate episode-inserts, but THIS NEEDED TO BE DONE.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. See Ya</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>2003, the night it ended.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You and Lee are lying in bed somewhere outside Bisbee, Arizona. It’s been almost two years since you’ve been sleeping together, just over two years since Sam left for college. And it’s been three days since that cult thing that left all of you so rattled, you’d taken to sharing a single hotel room until tonight when you’d finally begged for some privacy.</p><p>Lee’s stroking your arm gently as you lay on his chest, breathing in the scent of him. There was something different about tonight. Something sad about the way he (even though you hate the phrase) made love to you. He’s quieter than usual. Distant. You know him well enough to know that something is wrong, but this is the first time in a long time he’s kept something like this from you.</p><p>You lift your head to look him in the eye, but his head is tilted back, staring at the ceiling. “Hey,” you say, bringing his attention back to you, “what’s going on over there?”</p><p>“Thinkin’,” he says, as if that explains everything.</p><p>“Yeah, I get that,” you chide, moving your body to better stare at him. “Thinking about what? About the cult?” He winces almost like you’ve hit him. You feel immediate shame. “I’m sorry,” you move a hand up to stroke the side of his face. “I know it was awful for all of us.”</p><p>“What we saw…” he starts, but his voice catches and he’s quiet before he finishes the thought.</p><p>You stare at him for a while, concern written on your features, before you speak again. “We’ll be out of here soon. Put some distance between us and what just happened. We’ll head up to Sioux Falls and see Bobby for a few days, regroup, then figure out where to go from there.”</p><p>Lee’s silence is pointed. Too pointed. “You <em>are</em> coming with us to Bobby’s, right?” you ask, rolling over to prop yourself up on your elbow. He doesn’t respond. “Lee?”</p><p>It takes him a minute before he’s shaking his head. “No. I’m heading to Texas from here.” You wait for an explanation, but that’s all he says.</p><p>“For a hunt?” you ask.</p><p>“Not for a hunt.”</p><p>“But you’ll meet up with us… somewhere else?” You ask, feeling a growing sense of dread in the pit of your stomach.</p><p>Lee sighs and pulls his hands through his hair in exasperation. “No,” he says at length, afraid to even look in your direction. “I’m headed to Texas and I’m gonna stay there for a while.”</p><p>You feel a hard lump in your throat, and your eyes start to burn. “How long is a while?” you ask. He doesn’t say anything. “A month?” Nothing. “A couple of months?” Still nothing. “A year?” When he still hasn’t responded, you start to worry you’re about to pass out. “Come on, Lee, you have to give me something here.”</p><p>“I don’t know, kid,” he finally answers. “But I need to get away from this.”</p><p>You draw yourself up to a sitting position and bury your face in your hands as you take a deep breath. When you feel like you can speak again, you straighten your back and run your hands through your hair slowly and deliberately. “When were you going to tell me?”</p><p>Lee’s on his side now, facing you. He reaches out and puts his hand on your thigh and it takes everything in you not to slap it away. “I was going to head out this morning. First light.”</p><p>You stare at him in shock and horror. He looks back at you with a mixture of sorrow and resolve on his face. You want to punch it off of him. “So, what?” you start, trying as hard as you can to keep your voice from cracking, “If I hadn’t asked, I would have just woken up to an empty bed and you’d be gone?”</p><p>“It’s not like that,” Lee begs, trying to move you closer to him, but you hold your position. You’ve never been more hurt or more furious in your life.</p><p>“Then what’s it like, huh? You’re gonna to take off and start a new life in Texas without so much as a goodbye and I’m just supposed to be good with that?”</p><p>He looks down for a moment. When he looks up again, there’s a look on his face you’ve never seen before. “You could come with me.”</p><p>For a second, you forget how to breathe. “What?” you gasp, your voice little more than a sigh.</p><p>“Come with me,” he repeats. “Come to Texas. Just the two of us. We can do whatever we want  there.” He’s pleading with you with his eyes and you have to fight to tear your gaze away.</p><p>You’re shaking your head, “What about John, and Dean?” Your next words are very deliberate. “What about my dad?”</p><p>“They can visit us,” Lee tries for levity, but misses the mark. “They’re on the road all the time—what’s one little stop in Austin to them?”</p><p>“Lee,” you say, your voice cold and firm, “I can’t leave my dad. He’s all I’ve got.”</p><p>“You’ve got me,” he whispers.</p><p>You shake your head again. “It’s not the same. I can’t leave him. I won’t.”<br/>       <br/>“So we have one last night together?” Lee asks. You can hear the hope in his words.</p><p>The room is quiet. You hear the barely-passable air conditioner wheezing away in the corner. It’s the only sound aside from the sounds of your breathing.</p><p>Your heart breaks when you realize what you have to do. Even as you open your mouth, you’re not sure your voice has the strength to carry what you have to say, but miraculously you hear the sound. And god, do you hate it.</p><p>“I think you should go.”</p><p>Lee stares at you in disbelief.</p><p>“I can’t spend my last night with you knowing you’re not going to be here when I wake up. That’s not fair, Lee.” You can’t believe you’re saying all this, no matter how much you know it’s the right thing to do. A few free tears are starting to fall down your cheeks. Lee reaches up to wipe them away, but you pull back, and the hurt in his eyes is almost too much to bear. “You need to go.”</p><p>After what feels like an eternity, Lee nods. He throws the sheets off of himself and dresses as quickly as he can. You sit in the middle of the bed with the covers drawn around yourself like somehow they’re going to protect you from what’s coming, but you’re beyond protection at this point. You watch him dress and collect his things, and finally he’s standing there, halfway between you and the door, and you know this is it.</p><p>It takes him a few tries, but eventually he gets his mouth to work. “I love you, you know?” You nod, worried that if you say anything else you’ll burst into tears and you might never stop. He crosses to the bed and leans down to kiss you one last time. You kiss him back and squeeze your eyes shut. Maybe if you pretend this is all a dream, you’ll wake up wrapped in his arms and everything will be okay.</p><p>“See ya, kid,” he says miserably. You keep your eyes closed until you hear the door shut behind him.</p><p>“Bye, Lee,” you murmur.</p><p>You open your eyes to an empty hotel room. Lee is gone.</p><p>The tears are slow and quiet at first as you try to hold yourself together, but in less than a minute, you’re sobbing into your knees, your arms wrapped tightly around yourself as if that’s somehow going to keep you together.<br/>            <br/>But you’re already broken. More broken than you’ve ever been in your life.<br/><br/>At least until that point.</p>
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